i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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