He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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