We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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