Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
