So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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