I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
