she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
