Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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