real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i permit you to call me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
