we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
