i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
