how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
