North Korea, Best Korea!
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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