I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just invented taco cereal.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
