I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
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Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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