well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
