apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
