She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
