hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So much rum. So many feels.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
