Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
