also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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