Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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