"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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