If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I've blown a few things in my day
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the day after is always just damage control
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
