we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
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Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
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I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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