Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
