Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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