I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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