Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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