i need an iv and a liver transplant
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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