He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
