I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Randomize
