im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
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so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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