I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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