I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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