You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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