From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
