Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
