: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
