WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
