At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
