I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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