There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
