try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just forgot I was standing up.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
