so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
