Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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