Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
