you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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