i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i think i have two assholes
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
