I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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