Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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