Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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