Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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