the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
