I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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