He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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