I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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