From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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