Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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